I Won t Express My Feelings Again
Existence naturally "inward" personalities, introverts may struggle to express their feelings, opinions, and desires to others.
I am no therapist, merely I do go to therapy. And so, while I hold no dominance of a licensed medico or psychologist, my experience has taught me some important things nearly dealing with my emotions. Therapy, in short, has given me the support I need to observe relief, liberation, and healing.
If y'all're an introvert like me, you may find the therapy process challenging, as we "quiet ones" naturally tend to keep our thoughts and feelings to ourselves. A chronic overthinker, I'd learned to suppress my feelings for fearfulness of being misjudged, labeled "too sensitive," or non loved, respected, or understood. With the help of my therapist, I came to see that vulnerability means baring everything and discarding the carefully constructed image of yourself yous accept strived so hard to maintain — not an piece of cake process, but a fulfilling i.
For me, therapy was the need to feel a connection with someone who understood me. My therapist didn't know me in the way my friends and family unit did. She was (is) there to aid me, pushing me to go my best self, to talk things out when I'd rather keep them to myself, and to discover the cathartic power of emotional release through conversation. Therapy may be misconstrued past some every bit simply for those who take experienced deep trauma or who need help managing their lives. Yep, therapy can exist for those things, merely it'due south also so much more.
I of the things therapy taught me is how to stop bottling upwards my emotions and really express them. Here are vi things I learned from my therapist that I promise will help you, too.
6 Tips for Introverts to Stop Bottling Upwards Their Emotions
i. Like heavy rocks, unexpressed emotions will eventually weigh you down.
In her start lesson, my therapist demonstrated my emotional burdens using rocks. Information technology seemed simple enough, but she convinced me of the significance of learning to let go of my burdens. She opened a chest, and one by one, she placed rocks (in various sizes, but by and large the size of my palm) into my easily. The rocks became heavier, and ultimately, toward the finish, incommunicable to keep holding up. The indicate of this exercise was to bear witness me that bottling up emotions may seem insignificant at offset, but somewhen, the emotional weight will pull y'all down.
Consider your emotions in this manner. Are you lot letting whatsoever unexpressed feelings weigh you downward?
two. Talk. Your thoughts and feelings are just as valid as those of anyone else.
This may seem similar an obvious indicate to make, but every bit an introvert, chat has never been my go-to — nonetheless talking has now become very relevant to my healing.
Before starting therapy, I had a lot of worries about the process. Should I talk about what I think matters? Volition my therapist really intendance? Or am I likewise emotionally damaged to accept anything worth saying? Thankfully, my therapist took the pb in the conversation and prompted me by simply asking me to speak. The best affair she taught me was that it's okay to just constitutional and become on well-nigh little things, like what'southward happening in my life and how I feel. Believe me when I say that babbling on nearly my life does not come naturally to me equally an introvert.
So, the next lesson I learned is that my thoughts and feelings are just as valid as those of anyone else. In lodge to better understand what yous're feeling, I encourage you to talk about it. Notice a therapist who you lot experience comfy opening upwardly to. Therapy, every bit my sister once told me, is similar a human relationship. Make certain your therapist doesn't brand you feel suffocated and uneasy, or doesn't empathise your introversion. You should think of your therapist equally someone yous can confide in — someone who is at that place for you.
Effort writing what you've been feeling throughout the week: quick blurbs or jotted notes to remind you lot and prompt you to speak most what you've kept within. I do this when I want to call back something or when I want to accurately phrase or describe information technology.
Speaking of writing…
3. Writing your thoughts and feelings will help y'all make sense of them.
Even before therapy, writing was comforting to me, and it has connected to ease my pain and loneliness (yes, even introverts get lonely, especially when they feel misunderstood). Writing in a non-editorial way without thinking about who could potentially read it is good. It'south similar a streamline of your darkest, about intimate or surprising thoughts on paper. (Here are some more journaling tips for introverts.)
The act of writing your thoughts out is almost akin to doing something nigh them. Write a letter to the person who hurt you. Write to your parents about how they damaged you as a child. Write to God, if you lot and so choose. Write to yourself in the future. Every bit you lot do, you will find that yous volition piece of work through pent-up feelings and empathize them better.
Join the introvert revolution. One email, every Friday. The all-time introvert manufactures. Subscribe here.
4. When yous express your feelings, y'all tin strengthen your relationships.
I oftentimes vented to my therapist well-nigh how I was upset that my friend hadn't tried more in our relationship or how I felt distant from my family. She would then ask me to think about what I've been doing most it or when was the final time I reached out to someone. Nearly of the fourth dimension, I couldn't say that I'd washed much.
In this mode, therapy helped make me a meliorate person. Rather than suppressing our emotions that inevitably erupt over fourth dimension, we should wait at what we can do now to make ourselves the types of people who can better handle stressful or disappointing situations.
For case, I take a coworker who oftentimes needs a high level of guidance on tasks, and I don't always know how to approach her. One time I began thinking about talking to her as I would similar to be spoken to, it became more manageable. I know this is best for our team. Yet, information technology as well benefits me considering I'thousand no longer stressed almost her not finishing or handling a chore inappropriately, and our shifts are smoother. I wouldn't have been able to reach that determination if I hadn't talked about my bottled up feelings in therapy.
Another friend is notoriously late when nosotros assemble. I am ever early. Practice you encounter the tension? Through therapy, I learned that if picayune things annoy me, I should signal them out in a nonjudgmental, non-defensive way. For example, I've learned to say, "Yous know it bothers me that ___." Or, "I understand where yous're coming from, simply I would appreciate it if you lot ___." Let someone know that your feelings are valid. Don't repent, simply recognize others' mistakes and flaws, and endeavour to work toward a solution.
five. Identify activities you savor so you can release suppressed emotional energy in a healthy way.
Forth with talking near the things that I struggle with, I also talk to my therapist most what makes me blithesome: art, volunteering at my local Samaritan Center, spending quality time with people I savor, learning, reading, and running (although that awful asthma kicks in and I actively hate it — only information technology's a good aroused run). In these conversations, my therapist helped me place some healthy ways to release suppressed emotional energy. Now I've learned that if I can't speak to the person I am troubled by or bargain with the state of affairs that is weighing me down, I can put my thoughts and energy into something healthy.
6. Remember nearly why you are bottling up your emotions.
Recently, I read an article about the "shadow self," the idea that what y'all tin can't stand in other people is really a reflection of what you hate nigh yourself. Whether it's true or not, it got me thinking. When I get sorry, is it because I've allowed other people to mistreat me? Why practise I let the aforementioned person continue to make me experience inadequate? What would happen if I confronted people about how I really feel — would the relationship develop further? Asking myself questions like these helps me probe deeper and get clarity when I'm bottling up my emotions.
Getting clarity has helped me deal with some hard situations in my relationships. For example, when I first sabbatum downwards in therapy, I brought upwards a strained friendship. I felt like I was losing them and that they were being selfish. Looking back — and most importantly, considering what my therapist said — I realized I too played a part in this state of affairs; I could have reached out more than to this person, just I didn't. I also realized my introversion was a factor, as I was unrealistically expecting other people to come to me, without initiating things on my ain. Ultimately, I was able to mend the situation with this friend.
Creating the person you lot want to exist is nearly learning who you are, what you like, and what yous desire. Introverts may be more suppressive of their feelings every bit they are non as vocal every bit extroverts, and nosotros tend to listen more than we speak. For example, it took me months before I felt comfy sharing and opening up about my feelings to my coworkers. Even within my ain family unit, I still struggle to exist myself and find myself, although I'1000 learning.
If you struggle like I did, remember that you take the right to let become and express your feelings. I know it tin can exist catchy to figure out how, especially equally an introvert, to voice your opinions and to fight against instinctively swallowing how you experience. However, in order to become our all-time selves, nosotros must. 
You might like:
- INFJ: 6 Therapist Tips to Express Your Emotions (When You Don't Want to Rock the Gunkhole)
- INTJ: 7 Tips to Deal With Your Emotions (Even When You'd Rather Ignore Them)
- Here's What Makes Each Introverted Myers-Briggs Personality Blazon Angry
shop.introvertdear.com
Source: https://introvertdear.com/news/6-things-my-therapist-taught-me-to-stop-bottling-up-my-emotions/
0 Response to "I Won t Express My Feelings Again"
Post a Comment